Lots of people feel like they don't fit in. I feel that way a lot.
I need to leave the busy, fast pace of city life for the serenity of the country and nature's peace. Clean air, trees. Close to the unapologetic cycles of nature. I want to settle down with my future husband out there and walk with him under the stars in a quiet wood.
I need to live in an exciting metropolis alive with theatre, choirs, parades, bands, pubs, bright lights and neighbors. Good food and always something new to see. Diversity and creativity. I'd also prolly have a better chance of finding my future husband there, no?
I have a love-hate relationship with religions. Maybe I need to go single for a while. I love God, but even we have huge differences sometimes. I want the security of sharing my faith with a community of believers, but I can't stand the idea of conforming and giving up my autonomy. It's like I'd be cheating on God.
At once people are gods, but no more and no less than animals. We are a perfection of music, but we fail horribly at simple things. Selfish but selfless. Rational but passionate.
Life is a necessary chemical reaction in a now cold, decaying universe.

or

Life is the sum of spirit forms straining in their/its material cocoons, waiting to burst out and slow time down, bend the rules of physics, colonize the stars, or just start over.

On Tuesday at about 8pm i started feeling bad. An hour later my managers sent me home from work because they all agreed i looked sick. On the drive home i had to stop to throw up. Eight hours later i had thrown up five more times, not to mention other problems of the digestive system.
I pride myself on having a strong stomach. i once ate a pizza and a half pound of french fries then before going on the three biggest roller-coasters in Busch Gardens Williamsburg.
How the mighty have fallen. The way i felt can best be described by the words of a song we sang in Lit Choir during Lent, adapted from psalm 102. I am "like a pelican in the wilderness. Like a bird alone on the roof."